Well it's almost time for another biopsy. Oh. yay. I don't know why I keep going for these things. It seems contradictory to everything that I believe in - which is that our minds create. Thoughts are things...The other day I read in a mainstream publication that the subconscious can affect physiology instantaneously. Wow. What a change from the time when I first started reading, experimenting and ultimately believing that this is true. Years ago it was considered "ridiculous", "unreal", "figment of the imagination", and every other pejorative you can think of...
...but I was a teenager and had that rounded adolescent look that was a horror to me and my friends. We were resourceful and researched and tried everything that we could think of to lose weight. (Some way to step into the realm of consciousness huh..?) I came across an advertisement in some magazine that promised a solution without diet, without pills. Could it be true!? Secretly, I sent away for the material. Here's what it was...They sent a booklet that had some instruction about how to find the body that you wanted in the illustrations and find a photo of yourself, cut off the head and paste it on the body of your dreams. Then every night before you went to bed you were to stare at the photo for fifteen minutes and go to sleep with that image in your head. That was my junior year in highschool. By the time I started college I had gone from a quite plump 130lbs to 110. Now you have to understand that my family is Russian. Dinner always started with the first course of soup (Huge bowl. These kinds of soups are now served as main meals). You didn't get the dinner entree until that soup was finished. Then there was some salad (usually beet or potato) and then a major meat with, of course, potatoes! Before bed, maybe a bowl of cut up banana and cream or something equally filling so that you could sleep with a full stomache (and that was to guarantee a sound sleep). (Ah, the memories.) Oh, yes, also, how could I forget that in our explorations into weight loss my friends and had this scheme where we would go to our family doctors and complain that our weight was interfering with sports or some other idiot reason. At that time amphetamines were definitely not controlled substances so doctors would give them out by the handful. But you had to have a quantifiable reason. So we would put rocks in our pockets when we came in and stood on the scale. Voila! Black beauties, brown and clears! Then we'd all share our "booty". Well speed does exactly that - it not only makes you into a Tasmanian Devil but it also scrambles the brain so that it's hard to string cogent thoughts together. I went to a highly competitive all girls school and the pills didn't last long with some of us.
Now here I am eons later and my life has been full of examples and events that have proven without a doubt to me that what you think is what you are.
I am healthy. I am happy.
Why am I going for this biopsy?
answer: because it is often good to hedge your bets.
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