Out of sequence...

This story was supposed to have been in sequence but last night I received a call from my friend, Nicki. She was calling to let me know that her husband, Joe, had passed away on Dec 15th. I didn't know Nicki and Joe very well. They were are neighbors when we lived in our first house in Nevada City on Willow Valley. They were from Tahoe and had sold a pizza business and moved down here. The place next to our house was basically a manufactured home that had seen a rotation of tenants. When Gary and Dakota moved out we were a little nervous about who would move in because it was not the kind of place where people who had any means would live. We were in Mexico (again) when Nicki and Joe arrived. The neighbor on the other side of them, Sunny, called and she asked if we had met them yet. She said that they were really great and we would like them. I'm glad that she did that otherwise my first impression would have been not so positive. Unfortunately, I still have residual programming and have to catch myself before I make a judgment based on appearances. They looked like old bikers and Joe had been in Vietnam and had that feeling on him. (I was still trying to shed some of my San Francisco "chic" at that time.) I don't remember how we met exactly. It could have been that they came over and introduced themselves or it could have been that Gerhardt, my husband, and Joe met while they were both doing yard work outside. In any event, Joe and Nicki were great. I don't think that I've ever met two people who were so genuine and warm. In spite of our seeming differences we hit it off and we ended up going over to one anothers homes and sharing meals, wine, and weed. (Yes, I do smoke marijuana and have for years.) (Perhaps later I'll return and do individual profiles on Joe and Nicki but that's not the purpose of my writing this morning.) What I want to talk about is Nicki's call and how she described Joe's "passing". But I do have to interject and say that upon first meeting Joe one would never suspect what an intellectual and spiritual person he was until you spoke with him. He looked like a rough and tumble guy. (He was a great carpenter and gardener. [He and Nicki took that property next door that was basically a dump and made it into this wonderful place with meandering paths and flowers and sculptures.] He was always outdoors. He was always smiling.) He wore old biker vests, his hair long (although he was balding on top), and old camouflage jackets. When we sat around just talking or drinking wine we discussed Life, the Universe, and Everything that might be beyond. He was firm in his belief that what we saw was just a reflection of the true Life which I very much believe as well...
After a short time, Joe and Nicki, ended up buying a home in the nearby Grass Valley (a gift from the Universe to them came via a surprise inheritance). Right about the same time we moved from Willow Valley as well. Still staying in Nevada City but buying a much larger property. We talked on the phone a few times but never did get together again. I did, however, send them a Christmas card this year but heard nothing back until the call last night. Gerhardt took the call and when I heard it was Nicki I knew right away that Joe had died. (He had been diagnosed with brain cancer shortly before they moved but had surgery and they were confident that all was right.) I took the phone and Nicki started telling me about everything that had happened in the week before and after December 15th...
Hospice provided a bed for the home, a rolling table, and a bed pan. For one week 7 people came to visit. No one came twice and none seemed to be very interested in Joe said Nicki. However, coincidentally, 4 guys who used to work construction near Tahoe and often came to Nicki and Joe's pizza restaurant called and asked if they could come down and visit. When they arrived they helped with everything. Especially, helping Joe move around as there were days when he wanted to be out of bed. Joe's sister and brother-in-law came, a dear next door neighbor, so many people that touched Joe's life and were touched by him...
The night that he "left" (Nicki never said the words "dead" or "dying". They didn't believe in that.), Nicki was holding one of his hands and their neighbor the other. His sister and brother-in-law were massaging his feet. Joe seemed to be sleeping and they started talking about skiing. Suddenly they felt Joe move his legs together left and right - just like a slalom - and he moved his hands to hold Nicki's and the neighbor's thumbs and held tight - just as if he were holding poles. His favorite kind of music...very Zen and other worldly was playing in the background...He breathed and then he skiied out of his body. They looked at one another like they couldn't believe it. As she was telling this story my eyes filled with tears (as they are now). It was just so beautiful and I felt like I was there with him, too...
Then she told me about some incidents the next day that were like "tricks" he was playing with his sister and Nicki and an evening later when she was half asleep on the sofa...She felt a strong, hairy arm around her. She reached over and felt it viscerally. She knows that he was and will be with her. Helping her to not be afraid and to know that she will never be alone.
I've her alot of people who are really "into" spirituality tell stories about death and dying and no one's has ever touched me before. It's because Nicki and Joe were and are so very, very real. No pretense. Just out there. Telling the truth as they experience it. Nicki said that when Joe was leaving she felt the room fill with invisible entities that were there for him...
I just want to thank Joe for being in my life that short period of time when I knew him and if it's at all possible to have one more visit from him someday.